Painful Memories - Part 2

 Illuminate my dreams, analyse and study them.

Terror fills my eyes at night, petrifying me.

The dawn bleeds in like a razors edge – 

Sharp. Cutting. Brutal.

Existence haunted by your sight –

Seared. Burnt. Brandished,

Upon my shattered mind.

Release me!

Let me be free –

from all the turmoil enveloping me.

Ever feeling like that little girl –

Horrified. Hypothermic. Desolate.

Eyes burning with the stabbing of a thousand needles,

Desperately seeking contentment from my racing mind.

My flesh crawls like maggots on a corpse – 

Intruding. Remembering. Sickening.

Pleading for sleep, empty my brain –

Just for once, needing refrain.

Yearning sleep, I call for rest, you put your hands upon my breast!

Deplorable, egregious, reprehensible beast -

Words for you: the very least.

No-one should ever know so young;

Fragile life, just begun –

Horrors which force you to grow up fast,

Dealing with things that may make each day their last.

Life-long struggle to escape the past.

For some time I wanted to end my life, your presence haunted my core. 

Knowing your existed, trauma seeped from my pores.

Surrounded by love, I fought a battle bravely borne,

Truth slipped from my tongue, justice partially done.

Each passing night I prayed I’d  wake, you’d have died a painful death –

Consumed with guilt from my rotten thoughts.

Then Karma blew her kiss of equity.

In sinister solitude, your malevolence left this world –

Your empty shell lay rotting.

Guilt and turmoil still consumed me –

No dancing on your grave.

Still struggle to rest, my mind still aches,

Trauma bore deep within.

Yet, here I stand –

Firm. Courageous. Beautiful.

Partially released –

Hope on my side, 

shining her pure, encompassing light.